It's been a couple months since I last made an entry in my journal here. I have a lot of excuses for that, but let's remember that this is not a story about me.

I just spent some time re-reading my journal posts. What a long, strange trip it's been!

The Ex is still doing remarkably well. He's had two torso scans since I last wrote, and neither gave much to hoop and hollar about -- mild to moderate improvement in the size of some tumors, lymph nodes and adrenal glands still growing and shrinking.


His chemo cocktail was changed to a less demanding schedule, 1 day a week, 3 weeks a month, and he doesn't get nearly as sick.

For those of you keeping track, his hair never did quite fall out, but it did get whispy and we eventually shaved the Ex's head in a great celebration of separation between ourselves, our Dad/Ex and his sickly chemo hair.

We can't shave away Chemo Brain, though, and every bit of brain flatulence is attributed to that anomaly.

The Ex's color is good. His energy level is high. Blood tests, all good.

He's not suffering shortness of breath or coughing up blood, and he remains a tad fluffy at 5'10" and 230 lbs.

Pain from the tumors in his back and hip is adequately controlled with pain meds. He's back to shopping and cooking and doing his own laundry. He is still working full time, and despite a very little amount of nausea and fatigue in the evenings, I have to say The Ex is feeling better than he's felt in years, in this, his 6 month's anniversary after diagnosis -- the one that said he had 3-6 months to live? Hogwash.

So, you might think his cancer isn't so bad. The tumor in his lung once measured 13 x 8 cm... it's now disolving and has holes, and that lung is shot forever. But the other one seems to be working pretty well.

The dreadfully painful tumor in his spine was not as big, and it hasn't actually shrunk much, but the invasion on the spinal nerve seems to have been stopped for now. The tumor in his hip is still there, too, but he rarely complains about that one anymore. The spot on his liver, thought to be a met, is still just a spot, but it's a smaller spot, and there have been no symptoms from it at all.

Six months ago, he was so ill and in so much pain, I thought he'd be gone by now.

I had no idea that radiation and chemo could bring him back so far. Even though he is not cured, or even in remission, his life is better than it's been in years. And he looks pretty good with a shaved head!

As much as he enjoys having me here, it is time to go back to my home, my husband and my dog in Virginia for at least a couple months, or until The Ex needs me more, or maybe if it gets too cold in Virginia (there's always that).

To my friends who have missed me, and kept writing even though I've been silent, thank you so much for remembering me. I don't know how I would've gotten through all this without you.

I don't know what the next chapter will be, now that the Ex_turned_caregiver is about to be Caregiver_turned_wife_again, but I will keep you all close to my heart and in my prayers.

With warm regards to all... and especially to my own private shrink -- I am alive and coping very well with all the challenges that have come along in my life. I'm looking forward to Fall in Hampton Roads.