Radiation Treatment - Day Eight

After a perfectly miserable evening of Day Seven, Day Eight greeted us with blue skies and minimal pain, after The Ex reluctantly switched back to the Duragesic patches last night. They make him slurry and stupid, and we're going to talk to the Rad-Onco about that tomorrow.

We took The Ex's vehicle to the fixit place. It was his first ride in my only car, a 23-ft RV. The RV's been stationary for a couple weeks. It needed a little run down the road.

After that, we returned to the house and I was able to work some before our 11:15 radiation.
Since we were out in the RV and all, I suggested we pick up some deli sandwiches and go eat them in the RV somewhere near the ocean. The Ex couldn't go for that. Too much to do at home.

So we came back home and he spent about 2 or 3 hours on the phone with tech support, fixing his electronic doohickey upon which he depends for calls, timekeeping, etc. I'd catch him dozing from time to time while he was on the call; I wonder what the person at the other end was thinking?

He seems much more comfortable tonight, despite his nodding off from time to time. I can live with that. Watching him suffer writhing pain makes me anxious and tired. I did not sleep much last night, afraid he might've OD'd or that he might aspirate in his sleep or something.

While perhaps off the subject, now might be a good time to mention that The Ex is a staunch supporter of the US Constitution... as it was written; not as it is today. So, wherever we go, terminal cancer in tow, we have to distribute literature, namely, a paper by an unnamed author called "Common Sense, Revisited," a modern-day look at Thomas Payne's revolutionary paper that rallied some 3 million DILLIGAF North American inhabitants to fight for independence.

There is the notion that there are two kinds of power: inherent power, granted by God or just by virtue of our being; and surrogate power, granted "agencies" for the purposes of management, such as our government, which is granted by the people by virtue of our inherent power. Unfortunately, according to this paper, those with surrogate power have been given too much authority and now the balance of powers is turned upside down.

THIS, he cares about. THIS is his passion. Despite being nearly consumed with cancer,THIS is what motivates him to get out and do something -- ergo, the dissemination of literature to doctors' offices and clinics all over the country, which I find sort of comical.

We had a nice homecooked, meatless dinner tonight -- manicotti. My recipe called for tomato paste, and when I went to open the can, it nearly burst, which made me look at the date: Best by March 2006. BLEHHH! So I went back to the cupboard for another can of paste. It too, expired in 2006. Being resourceful, I then looked for tomato sauce, only to find several expired, burst and mostly empty cans of sauce from earlier in this decade.

The cupboards here are all full of food. It would seem that The Ex has a thing for BOGOs and a propensity for food hoarding. When he's not looking, I'm going to clean all that stuff out so no one will eat it accidentally. He made me promise to let him pick through what I plan to throw away. Shopping for food is apparently another thing The Ex has a passion for, even though we have enough food for a year of hurricanes. Maybe if I can just throw away the expired stuff, there will be room again for fresh new cans -- cans I don't want and don't need, but cans that make him happy. As I've said before, if we can't be well, let's at least be happy. To each to his own, I guess. If canned goods and pantry items make him happy, so be it!

It's kind of quiet tonight. I don't miss the cries in anguish as he tries to watch tv tonight with his eyes closed.

New as I am to all this, I have a newly gained pearl of wisdom for you all: If you are ever care-taking like I am, "listening" for cries of pain from your cancer patient, don't let that cancer patient watch "Biggest Loser." There's lots of moaning and groaning on that show, and every time I'd hear a cry, I'd jump up to check on The Ex, only to find him checking his eyelids for pinholes.

I need to move around some furniture so I can situate my desk in the livingroom where The Ex keeps his desk, TV and couch. I can't see him from my room, and this is a problem if I am trying to work at night, especially with competing moaners on reality TV.

Last night was a long one, so I hope to catch up a little tonight.

Tomorrow, we see the Rad-Onco, who was supposed to talk to the Onco-Internist about meds. Several new friends have written with stories and suggestions for managing pain. I really appreciate that. It is so nice to be among friends.

You guys make it easier to face each day. Thank you so much for your support.