Our Journey Begins

Three weeks ago, after an MRI to diagnose back pain, docs found a tumor on my 54-year-old ex-husband's spine.

Results of needle biopsy Feb. 23rd revealed a met mass, and a CAT and PET scan were ordered.

On Wed., March 11, 2009 we were told that this is extensive Stage 4 cancer with SCLC. Some say you can't have stages with SCLC, but in our oncologist's explanation, the stages signified the sizes of the masses, with less than 2 cm being Stage 1.


In any event, the primary mass is an enormous 9 cm mass consuming the right lung, with 2 met masses; one 5.7 cm at L1 compromising spinal canal, and another 2 cm on his left hip bone, with many, many spots in lymph nodes and adrenal, too, i think.

Doc said it was too late for chemo. Could help him live 1-2 years, but they would be bad years. She recommended immediate radiation for the two met tumors to relieve back pain -- to date, the only symptoms of his lung cancer. And she suggested he think about what he wants to do for the next few months. She gave him 3-6 months. (He is still working full time as an office equipment technician).

My ex and I were married 16 years and have been divorced for the last 6. We have one child, a son, who is a Jr. in a college 100-miles away. I have remarried, but have relocated to my ex's home (with loving hubby's blessings) until further notice. My ex has no other family besides our son and me. (I work from home, so I can just as easily work from my ex's home -- it's only 800 miles away!)

We were all together -- mom, dad and son -- after the first diagnosis, and we clung to each other for pretty much the entire spring break. We cried, we laughed, and we ate and drank alot too. We're all so shocked. Even at Stage 4, there are no symptoms of lung cancer! Just that chronic pain in the back, currently being treated with 80 mg oxy.

We are all numb, heartbroken, and frightened. We are just now learning what we're dealing with; I didn't know what SCLC or mets were until last week!

Until today, I had no hope, but I did find a few rays on this site. Not for a cure, but at least a little time.

We decided tonight to seek a second opinion, but that maybe we won't go all the way to the CTCA in Tulsa.

I don't know what to expect exactly from radiation treatments. He's getting 5/wk, M-F for 3 weeks. That's supposed to kill those tumors and offer relief from the pain, but of course, he's still planning to work full time through it all, scared to death he could lose his job and his insurance.

I will post more about our journey as it continues. For now, I have to learn how to be stronger so I can be the caregiver I need to be, however this plays out.

I love my son's father, and I am not ready to let him go without at least a little more fight. We don't want to ruin the time he has now fighting the inevitable, but we'll hate ourselves if we don't try to find a balance between dignity and desperation.