Radiation Treatment - Day Five

First thing today, we went to view the "open MRI" -- a different "open MRI" than the one before. Let me tell you all, none of them are "open." And if you don't like being engulfed by a magnetic tube 5 inches from your face, you probably won't enjoy the "silence of the lambs" headgear for brain scans much either.

Granted the head thing has mirrors so you can look up and still see out of the tube, but the "silence of the lambs" reference came from my patient, not from my own sick little brain. Though I wish I had thought of it first, because he is right -- the head thing is creepy.

Every day we go to radiation therapy, the Ex has a new name for it. Radar Love. Dayglo charging. Zap therapy. His sense of humor is always good early in the day.

After an uneventful therapy, we went to look at cancer cure books in the bookstore. I was looking for a book on how best to support a terminal cancer patient. He looked at books on cures. Juicing. Detoxifying. Bean sprouts. His pain was getting to him, so we left without buying any books.

When we got home, I began my daily routine of calling pharmacies, looking for deliveries of oxycodone. No luck. Called the doc again because the pain situation was becoming severe, the Ex was then without relief from "breakthrough pain."

He started the slurry patches... uh, I mean, Duragesic 100 mcg last night. I called the doc's answering service again and asked for a return call, and this time, she actually called back.

With no oxycodone anywhere, we're switching to delaudid. She recommended that he up his patch dosage to wearing two at once.

I hear him in the other room, trying to get around... Oww! Oww! Oww! he says, to no one in particular. Every move he makes hurts.

I'd have to say he hurts now more than he did before the radiation treatments began, but that could be due to all this changing of meds. I've read that withdrawal from oxycodone is actually painful. If he's experiencing that, too... my goodness. I cannot even imagine his pain. Or how he wakes up every day and gets through his job, knowing -- or at least feeling at this time -- his remaining days will ALL be painful, and few.

He's wearing a back brace tonight. It looks like a torture device to me, but he said it gives him support and helps his back pain. I see he is suffering flashes. I know these symptoms all too well. At least we can have that one discomfort in common. One of us is always hot or cold.

I'm glad we don't have to go to radiation tomorrow, or the pharmacy, though I'd happily go to the pharmacy if they got some oxycodone in for the Ex. Radiation isn't too bad, as doctor's visits go, but it is odd for me to be going anywhere at the same time every day, and I am grateful for the break in routine.

I'm still glad I'm here, though I miss my other family. I don't know how he got by this long on his own. He didn't eat dinner tonight (then again, I didn't make any! ;-/ , but we did have a nice lunch in a restaurant this afternoon -- he had chicken caesar salad. Tonight, I made some brownies. Maybe that will help his appetite.

Our son might come home from school this weekend. He likes brownies, too. And I know his dad will be glad to see him.

So, good riddance Day Five. We shall resume our battle against cancer pain on Monday. Meanwhile, we'll just cope.